So it was right during the corona vacation. I felt like going somewhere and I asked Kristin, if she would be interested on a half day trip to Bodensee in Constance. Well, as we are, that half day trip escalated quickly to a four day trip in Bavaria with an full flat airbnb and a rental cabriolet BMW Z4 called ‚Emma‘. We had the most exciting 4 days since the start of the crisis. After a day spending time with Kristin, I got hooked with my emotions. Everything, literally everything she did was funny, lovable, sheer pleasure and timeless. I felt like, this hitting the road should never end, this energy should remain for a long time and this interaction should provide meaning for life.
In the second night and after experiencing things for more than 3 days, I was in trouble with myself, if I should risk our friendship by sharing my hidden emotions. The same emotions I experienced on our first day as well as now after experiencing couple days together. We were already laying in bed and I said to Kristin – we would be different, if I we would have met now.
Well, this didn‘t work out well, we kept the short communication on, it‘s better to have met than and not now as we wouldn‘t have developed the friendship that we had, and we were tired to have this conversation going. So we went to sleep
The next morning was like nothing happened. We had breakfast and went on a hike in Garmisch-Partenkirchen. I took the time to reflect on everything and also thought about last night as well as the past two and a half years. The more I was thinking of the past and all the memories also from Newcastle, I felt like I overstepped with that statement. So we kept going on this hike and headed back to Stuttgart in the late afternoon.
I started with the fact that, we are special and I don‘t want to loose what we have build over the past years. Considering the fact that Kristin mentioned very early in our friendship that we have eachother for a long time, I couldn‘t risk it through a failing relationship. So, reflecting on this weight I would have I mentioned, that it would be better to not take my yesterdays statement into consideration, as I am very happy to met you then with all the things that happened to us. Kristin is a very smart person so we kept talking about our past. The way we both friendzoned eachother for so many years, the way we thought ablut eachother and the meaning of eachother in eachothers lives. The whole conversation gave me so much energy, despite the fact it was already 3AM and we had to wake up early. I took all my courage together and promised her (which was even for me unexpected) –
Back in Stuttgart, Kristin had an early train in the morning. So, we went right into bed, atleast I can‘t remember anymore what we did. So, a day after I had dropped my statement I was lying in bed with her and then I started the conversation.
if she is with me, she would have the most amazing life she has ever imagined.
Kristin and I decided to let some time pass to reflect on this vacation and ourselves.